I know I have a lot to offer. I have always been ahead of the trends in fashion, jewelry, and beauty. I seem to hide it though. I feel like because I don't fit into that "perfect size" quota my fashion sense, opinions, and style shouldn't matter. That is crazy! They should matter. There are so many women who feel the same way I do! So many women who don't wear these tiny sizes have amazing style! Why not show the world what we have to offer.
We cannot base our looks on something we see in a magazine or a runway show. Yes, those girls wear size 2 and 4. Most designers make their samples in those sizes. The truth is the average size in America currently is between a 14 and 16. Did you hear that??!!! Do the research if you don't believe me!
There seems to be so much pressure on women to fit into that perfect mold. Younger girls are at such high risk of having low self esteem because of all they see on TV and in print. It makes me sad, and to be honest my self esteem is not even close to where it was years ago. I have always had a bit of a warped sense of self. Even when I was small I didn't see it. When I looked in the mirror I saw "fat". Looking back I could really slap myself. I was ridiculous. These were between age 15 and 16.
These days I tend to shy away from the camera. If I do take any kind of pictures I try to make sure my body isn't in the picture, or just go back and crop it later. I'm tired of doing this! I am in the process of trying to get more "healthy", but regardless I shouldn't feel so ashamed that I have to edit half my body out of a picture! I have great style and some amazing clothes hanging in my closet. I should be showing them off, not hiding! I tell myself that if I lose 30 or 40 pounds then I'll start showing my sense of style.
I ask myself if it's all in my head, or if I am truly afraid of what others will think or say. I wonder if they will make comments about my size or have other nasty remarks. Let me clarify now, by telling you I am not some morbidly obese person.Yes, I have extra weight, and besides that I am 5'9. I feel big no matter what. Either way it is time to do something. Regardless if I lose the weight or not I shouldn't feel ashamed of who I am no matter what the size. I am considered "average" when it comes to the size I wear, and who cares what number is on the scale? It should be about how you look and feel, not what number is looking back at you! So, from now on even as I am working towards losing the extra weight I will learn to be more confident in who I am, because I do have a lot to offer!